An Affair to Forget?
Dear e-COACH,
I'm almost positive that my manager is having an affair with one of the other managers.They are both married and I don't think anyone knows about it. To make matters worse, the other manager has just announced that she is pregnant! I'm not even sure whose baby it is. Should I tell my boss that I'm aware? Should I tell his wife, who I know? Should I report it to the Human Resources Director? I am a church going woman, married for 28 years. I believe in morals and I don't want to work in an office with this kind of thing going on under my nose. It is extremely bothersome to me.
Dear Moralist,
You certainly have a lot on your plate. Not only are you (presumably) doing the job for which you are paid, but you have also taken on the additional responsibilities of ensuring that office conduct is moral, determining paternity, providing information to employees' families about their conduct at work and ensuring that everyone is acting within the guidelines of company policy.
The two most frightening words in your letter are "almost positive." I hope you realize that the "almost" negates everything else you have written. If you are wrong about your suspicions and you tell someone, you bring potential pain to the lives of several people. Even if a consensual relationship between the two were confirmed, it would not be your obligation to report an incident of this nature, as it does not involve you.
As far as believing in morals, that is undeniably commendable. Personally, though, I have always found it best to spend much more time examining my own behaviour than that of others. I do understand that being exposed to morals and values that are different from your own can be disturbing. I think that you should honour your strong feelings by doing one of two things. You could do some serious soul searching to determine why this disturbs you to the degree that it does. (For example, does this situation raise fears within you about the security of your own marriage or remind you of past incidents in your life?) Perhaps a shorter route would be to look for another job. Beware, though, that we live in a world full of flawed human beings and you are likely to encounter more immorality among your co-workers.
Either way, I urge you to keep your suspicions to yourself!
|
